First, a little bit of back-story. After God had convinced me to go to Romania the first year, (being the portrait photographer that I am) I began looking at photos taken of mission efforts in the country. One photo in particular grabbed me so hard that all I could do was stare. This photo seemed to be God's cry to my heart, saying "Daniel, I need you. You feel it in this photo, don't you? Your purpose."
(This IS my purpose, by the way. The people who led me to this along the way...many of them feel the same. For me though, all it took was ten days in Romania to know that my heart will never be the same. I am in love with this country, it's people, and most of all, it's CHILDREN.)
But back to the photo above. I asked God to show me children like her, and help me capture in my photos the same emotion and love that is shown in this girl's face and heart. I remember thinking before I left "There's no way I could ever do that one black and white photo of the little girl justice." You know, I was absolutely right. There is no way "I", could do it. God did it. God took my hands, my heart, my camera, and held them in a way I never knew possible.
There is something awe-inspiring, and yet incredibly humbling about being able to use God's gift to you in a way that completely glorifies Him.
Such a tiny offering...compared to Calvary.
You'll have to give me a moment. I need to recompose myself. Seeing these photos makes me want to go back. As in, right now. Pack my bags and go. All I want to do for the rest of my life is share Christ with these children. More than anything in the world.
Anything.
*sigh*
Ok, on we go now. In the time I had spend in Romania, God had shown me children that captured a special place in my heart that I am unable to put into words. (Yes, the English major is without words.) In particular, there were three children. Today, I am going to tell you about one of them.
One of the aspects of our mission in Romania was VBS. Our team broke up into groups, along with translators and went to community centers in the area to host Bible activities and games. Our team in particular went to a small civic building off in the countryside. By our second day, our tiny little building was at bursting, and children kept coming!
On day two, I was doing what I loved, taking pictures of the kids as they sang songs and smiled for my camera. One little girl in particular caught my eye as I was shooting. She had a very unusual hairstyle, and I wanted to get a picture. For some reason though, my camera would not focus on her correctly. Instead, it focused BEHIND her...on another little girl. I recomposed the shot several times, and the camera kept focusing on the SAME SPOT. I finally understood. God wanted me to talk to this little girl. She was important, and God wanted me to know why.
Her name was Maria.
Sweet, precious, beautiful little Maria.
When I went over to talk with her, I thought she might turn ten shades of pink. She didn't understand any English, but some words of love are universal, and a lot can be said with gestures and smiles. One thing I immediately noticed about her, was that she paid attention during the lessons. Not because she was "taught to", mind you...but you could tell the bible stories were making her think. She watched intently, while many others began to lose interest after a few minutes of sitting in one spot.
After class was over, I would always go over to her and hug her. She would smile, and nod her head before walking away. She would usually turn around a few times, to see if I was still there and watching her, and wave at me. She would giggle each time I waved back at her. One day I gave her a little bag of potato chips, and you would have thought I had given her the entire world.
Where did little Maria come from, I wondered. The Romanians know their social classes better than I do, and more than likely, one of the translators could tell me (just by looking at her photo) if she was a gypsy. I wanted to help her, but I didn't know how I could.
Another thing I noticed about her was her feet.
I don't need to say anything about that photo. It breaks my heart wide open. :(
Maria doesn't expect your pity, though. She is like any other little girl you might know. And that's a good thing. If she had any more charm than God had already given her, she might be at an unfair advantage. So God made her humble and shy to offset this. I mean, come on...look at that face. Describe it in one word. I dare you.
She captured my heart, there's no doubt. One day, as our group was packing up, I saw Maria and one of her friends outside the gate, playing a hand-clapping game. I wanted to know what they were singing, and so I asked "Cum se numeste?" (What is this called?) Maria smiled a HUGE smile, and motioned for me to put my hands up as well.
I was IN HEAVEN! They were letting ME play THEIR game!
All good things must come to an end though.
On the last day of our VBS, as we were packing up, I noticed that Maria was staring at us from across the fence at her house. She knew we were leaving, and she knew we were not coming back tomorrow. I was supposed to be an adult here, and find a way to help my team clean up paper clippings, and Pufuleti...but instead, I was looking at her, and her watching as her eyes were filling with tears.
I waved at her again, and she smiled and went back to her chores. She draped her bed across the clothesline, and hid her face slightly. My heart was breaking at this moment.
This, my friends, is why I will never be the team's leader...or any leader, for that matter. A leader is supposed to hug the kid, show them love, walk away, take a deep breath, and get organized for the next assignment. I am literally unable to do that without my heart in my throat. All I want to do is spend the rest of the day in this little girl's shoes, and learn all I can about her.
But there is no time for that.
We have a bus to catch. Stupid bus.
I finish up a few more things, and then walk back outside. Maria is still watching us from behind her fence, but now she is smiling at me. I wonder what's up, and then realize my camera is on my shoulder. Earlier that day, she had looked a little sad, and was holding her head downward. I put my hand under her chin, and as she looked up at me, I had whispered to her "Domnișoară frumoasă." She remembered this, and now she was saying with her eyes "Well, tell me how pretty I am!"
I pointed my camera at her, and she posed like a little water-girl, with that big green bottle in her hand that made for the most interesting photo prop I had ever seen. In that moment, I captured what I think was not only the most beautiful photo I had taken for the entire trip, but also captured the heart of Maria's world. A world we don't see, but at the same time, a world I want to understand more than anything.
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