One Small Word

Of late, my fingers have become less coordinated when it comes to typing, and so my desire to blog has waned considerably. As much as I love writing papers for college, lately I have to write about 300 words and then take a break for a few minutes before coming back to it. Maybe it's arthritis, maybe it's just my getting older. Regardless it has made me want to choose my typed words more carefully.

Today I want to talk about an important word. It is a word that much of our world has forgotten. It is a word that Christ talked about, a word He showed in his life, and a word He showed in his death. It was written in the wounds on His hands and feet, and woven into a crown on His head. He bore this word on His shoulders from the moment He was born.

Empathy.

Empathy is defined as being able to understand and share the feelings of those around you. I want to take it a step further, however. I once heard someone say that they were an "empath", and that is why they don't like being in crowds of people. They explained that when they see someone hurting, they hurt with them. They are physically and emotionally unable to shut the suffering person out, and they must try to comfort them. They see the hurt, and they share the hurt. They have compassion on those who suffer, and until the suffering is attended to, they suffer also.

Jesus was like this. In Matthew 14:14, Jesus, after having heard about John the Baptist's execution, went out on a boat to have time alone. When he came back ashore, a crowd had followed Him, and his reaction was instant:

"Jesus saw the huge crowd as he stepped from the boat, and he had compassion on them and healed their sick." ~ Matthew 14:14

I understand this, deeply. It is both a blessing and a curse to have uncontrollable empathy. Many people don't want to be sympathized with, while others misinterpret empathy as you "getting too close" to them, or your trying to take advantage of them in a time of weakness. Still others will try to take advantage of people who have empathy, and use them until they have nothing left to give. Empathy is not something that is not felt by the one who gives it. Empathy hurts when you give it. Jesus experienced this in Luke 8:46 when a woman in a crowd who needed healing knew that Jesus could give it, and so she touched the hem of his robe as he walked by:

"Jesus said, "Someone deliberately touched me, for I felt healing power go out from me." ~ Luke 8:46 

This is important to understand, because if Jesus did not experience a feeling of loss when someone else was healed by Him, then His love was useless. To empathize with someone, you lower yourself to their level of suffering, and you do not rise up again until the healing has begun. It means counting another person's hurt and suffering as greater than your own comfort, and immediately bearing the burden of that person's hurt.

As adults, we may find this difficult to do. We don't like to suffer. We don't like to talk to people who might need something from us. When we see someone hurting, we often look for someone else to fix it, or we pretend we didn't notice, and walk away.

The other day I was at an Upward soccer game at our church, and I was taking photos of the players like I do every year. It had been a hard week for me at work, and my heart was suffering. I needed empathy, but like most adults, I am afraid to seek it. I asked God to show me empathy, and like He always seems to do, he answered in a way I did not expect. On the sidelines of one of the games, a little girl had gotten hurt and was now feeling the physical and emotional loss of that. Her face was cast down, and she had tears welling up in her eyes. I have to admit, I immediately knew how she felt. Then I saw another thing happen. Another little girl came over and sat by her, and instead of trying to fix the problem with laughter and humor, her face began to mirror the pain of her friend. She spoke to her with gentleness and love, and until the little girl smiled again, she did not relent, or smile herself.

This was bearing her friend's hurt. She wasn't trying to shuck it off by making light of it, or pretending it didn't matter. She was embracing her friend's pain. She was clothed in empathy. Later on, (much later) I asked the little girl (her name is Ivy) "When your friend hurts, you feel her hurt, don't you? You don't just want to make her feel better, you literally feel the sad in her, and you can't turn it off until you make it better, can you?" Ivy shook her head. She understood. She got it. She embodied empathy in it's purest form.

What would our world be like if we began emulating Ivy? If the people we saw who were hurting didn't just become a thing to be pitied (or ignored), but someone to be borne up on our own shoulders? What if your friend who is suffering is the cross you must bear today?

Today is all about that very empathy.

Happy Easter. <3 

Between the Covers

This actually began as a Facebook post, where I was challenged (not to dump ice water on myself) but to name 10 books that have stayed with me over the years. Books that have affected my life or the way I look at things in such a way that having read them has changed me forever. These were hard to narrow down, but if I could only name 10, these are my choices...along with a brief reason by each one.

Before I begin, of course, I want to mention the bible. The most ignorant people I know are those who claim to follow it, but have never read it...and those who claim it to be nonsense, but have never read it.

On to this list!

1. The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis - This allegory of a man's visit to Heaven, along with other people who have not realized they were living in Hell left an indelible mark on me. Especially the part where Lewis shows that all the gifts we have been given by God are unique, and we will retain them even when all things become perfect.

2. The Silver Chair by C.S. Lewis - Back to Lewis one more time. When I was a child, I read Narnia for the wonderment of it's heroic fantasy. When I read them again with fresh eyes as an adult, the scene where Puddleglum unashamedly declares his loyalty to Aslan (even in the face of having Aslan perhaps not rescue him) painted the idea of unconditional love and sacrifice on my heart in a way I have never had matched in any other book.

3. Watership Down by Richard Adams - Long before I raised rabbits, I found this book at the bottom of a pile my parents had purchased at a yard sale. In less than five pages, I was hooked. The tale of a warren of vagabond rabbits that escape human annihilation, sojourns forward in a perilous pilgrimage to find new life. It reveals not only the human side of animals, but the animal side of humans.

4. Les Miserables by Victor Hugo - After seeing the broadway version with my French class in high school (and holding onto my seat, practically shaking as Fantine sang "I Dreamed a Dream") I went to Oxford Book Store in Atlanta and bought the Signet Classic version shown in the photo above. This translation remains my favorite, and Hugo's magnum opus does Paris the justice only a lover and childhood denizen of it's streets could describe.

5. Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson - Recommended to my by a friend, I devoured this book in three hours. It brought back memories of how many people mistreated this girl I went to high school with, and how we might have unintentionally tormented a soul whose internal battles were beyond what we could comprehend. Be kind, for everyone you know is fighting a hard battle.

6. Homecoming by Cynthia Voigt - My "daughter from Savannah" shared this with me as being her favorite book. I won't even try to explain how Dicey wiggled her way into my heart, but there is one page in the book...one scene...where Dicey is sailing across the water on a boat after having traveled hundreds of miles on foot. Her description made me miss living on the coast so terribly, that I put the book down for a moment...and smelled the ocean---again.

7. The Five People You Meet In Heaven by Mitch Albom - A lot of people see this as "feel-good pablum". I don't give a rats butt. If you can make it through the last scenes and not be affected, go find yourself a puppy to kick. We all need redemption, and even those with no faith can relate to this story.

8. Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson - As a boy who grew up with a girl as his best friend, this book resonated with me the moment I picked it up. (In the Newnan Library when I was 9 years old.) It was storming the day I read it, and unlike many today (who have seen that atrocity of a Disney adaptation) I had no idea what was going to happen. When "it" did, I couldn't breathe for a few moments. Trauma at the hands of a paperback.

9. Le Petit Prince (The Little Prince) by Antoine Exupery - I read this book in French before I read it in English. While some things just don't translate perfectly, the story itself is timeless, and still as relevant an allegory of the world today as it was in 1943 when it was written. Get it. Read it. It will take you all of an hour, but the people in it will make you say "Wait! I know that guy!"

10. The Book Thief by Markus Zusak - I first read this book while flying over the Atlantic ocean on my way to Germany, where a connecting flight would carry me to my first overseas mission trip to Romania. In high school, history bored me so much that I had to repeat one of the classes. Now, it is my favorite subject. I won't attempt to describe this book. My words seem to taint it. All I will say is that I am haunted by it. Stepping off the plane in Munich after reading it was so surreal...and so beautiful. (The movie that has been made of it is ALMOST as good. But please, read the book first. Please.)

Now that I go back and look at my choices, I want to add more. But I won't. Ten is enough.

Now, go read.

Shoo.