We have a cat, and his name is Rusty. He's 13 years old now, and for as long as I can remember, he has been afraid of me.
It all goes back to ten years ago. A bad storm was coming through, and tornado sirens began going off. The word from the news station was a tornado had touched down less than a mile from our home. We lived in a manufactured house, so I wanted to leave until the storm passed. Our other cat quickly allowed herself to be scooped into her pet carrier. Rusty however, afraid of the storm, hid under our bed. I did everything I could to coax him out, but he refused to move. I finally made the choice between his life and his comfort, and I chased him out with a broom. For the next few minutes, I pursued him all over the house trying to get him into the carrier. He would dart under the table, then under the sofa, then back to the bed. There was no time for gentle, sweet words with a few cat treats in hand. He needed to be caught, and caught THEN.
After chasing him all over the house numerous times, he was panting and beginning to drool. I finally threw a blanket over him and shoved him (kicking and clawing) into the pet carrier. We left quickly, and after a few hours away, the "all clear" had finally been given. The storm had passed. Rusty however, was permanently traumatized. He has never gotten over the man who chased him all over the house. Now, cats don't have memories like humans. He probably doesn't remember being chased by me, or the storm, or any of that. What he does believe, (and remember) is that for some reason, I am to be feared, and ultimately not trusted. He will climb up in my lap and allow himself to be petted if I am sitting down, but if I walk into the room, he will often dart away, looking back over his shoulder several times to make sure I am not in pursuit with a broom in hand.
It occurred to me today during my quiet time that Rusty is a lot like we are as God's people. God saw the storm coming, and he said "Please, I'm trying to save you. You don't know what you are doing. You're going to be hurt. This is a dangerous thing you are heading toward. Please, I beg you. Come to me and be safe. I will make sure you are not harmed." Our reaction (all too often) is to run away from Him. We see his attempts to save us as being unpleasant, and we believe He is trying to take away our comfort. We are happy where we are, safely hidden under the bed. We have no idea the dangers that lurk outside our pitiful little "comfort zone". God sees the storm coming; he knows what will happen to us if he leaves us to our own means.
Consider this for a moment. If I had just given Rusty a bath, and when he got out of the bathtub I tried to dry him off, but he clawed away from me and ran under a table, that would be cause for me to say "Well, if he wants to run away, he can just be cold for a little while until he dries himself." God does this to us as well. If we want to go our own way, but it's not a HUGE mistake we are making, God will often let us run, so that through the process, we might learn what is best for us. Other times though, like the tornado coming through, God knows He must get us away, and get us away quickly.
Recently, God had to do this to me. He had to get me away. He knew I would not want to follow, and that I would hide under the bed. He was prepared for the chase, and he knew that when He caught me, that I would go clawing and kicking at Him before I would be safely carried away. He also knew that when I was finally home, the "home" would not look the same to me. It would be safer than it was during the storm, but I would be angry with Him for shoving me into my pet carrier when I would have preferred to stay in my little hidey-hole.
This is a teaching moment for me, and it should be one for all of us. Maybe you feel like God is trying to tear you up by the roots. Maybe you want to stay in your comfort zone, but His powerful arms are doing (what seems like) everything in His power to tear you away from the happy little place that you hold so dear.
If this is you...if you hear this story and think "Wow, that's where I am right now. Holy Schnicklefritz!" then I want you to take heart. God's ways are higher. His mind is deeper. His heart is braver. And he is GOOD.
Am I healed from my trauma? (You know, the one I mentioned earlier.) Well, like our cat, when things are calm and happy, I do love to hop up in God's lap and love on Him. Still, I am always on my guard. In my small mind, I'm afraid the same thing will happen again. So I am always looking over my shoulder, imagining monsters that aren't even there. God loves me enough to wait me out, though. The storm has passed, and He sits quietly, waiting for me to love Him without holding back.
In Psalm 3, David feels uncertain and afraid. But even in the face of all he has endured, he knows the power of God's arms, and the comfort of God's spirit:
"You, O Lord are a shield for me. My Glory, and the One who lifts my head up high." ~ Psalm 3:3
We need not be afraid of His love. But part of being His child is that He will often protect you from a particular harmful situation at all costs. Maybe it's from a terrible financial move. Maybe it's from a person who means to do you harm. Maybe it's just from yourself. When those times happen, remember, His love remains no matter how much you may fight it. And when the storm passes, He is waiting to love you through the aftermath, and show you where He has taken you safely home.
No comments:
Post a Comment