What is this NUMBER TEN? It's the commandment that we often think that God must have seen as the least important. After all, it was the last one. Maybe it was an afterthought. Maybe he got to nine commandments and thought "Hm, that pretty well covers it. Murder, theft, infidelity, idolatry, slander, got all those squared away. But still, who's gonna remember nine commandments? I need to make it an even number. There should be ten. Hmm. Envy. That's a good one. Ahem. THOU SHALT NOT..."
In all seriousness though, this is the one I struggle with more than any. I admit, I am guilty of breaking the whole law. Even if you forget that part about "Whoever breaks part of the law breaks all of it." I still am guilty. I have gone beyond that. I have broken every single commandment at some point in my life. Murder? Yep. I have mentally wished death upon people. Adultery? Done. I had roving eyes when my first marriage began to go sour. I have told lies about people, called my father a loser, partied until I got drunk on a Sunday, worshiped at the altar of internet addiction, stole a lollipop from a gas station when nobody was looking, said the G-D word, had a poster of a half-naked Claudia Schiffer on my bedroom wall when I was a teen, and oh yes...I have coveted.
The secret to a happy life is contentment with what you have. In the Parable of the Landowner and Workers, the man who owned the vineyard needed workers, and so he hired them from the marketplace. He found a few at the marlet standing around with their hands in their pockets, and said "Hey, come work for me. I will pay you $20." Later that day, he saw more people looking for work. He offered them the same deal. Toward the end of the day, he found even more workers. At the day's end, He paid the people who began work at daybreak, those who began work at late morning, and those who began work at afternoon all the same wage. The people who had worked since morning were furious about this, and wanted to be rewarded for their work with a higher wage. The landowner said that he paid each of them what he promised. There was no "fair" to this. The person hired at daybreak was promised twenty bucks. So was the guy hired at 3pm. The both got what the landowner wanted them to have. It may seem unfair, but without the landowner, none of them would have had work that day. So it is with God. Without Him, none of us would have anything.
But I struggle with this. Daily. And in no greater area do I struggle with it than in the area of my gear for work. The other week, for example, I was shooting portraits, and had just finished and was packing up my gear. My camera is 10 years old, and my lens is 12 years old. They serve me well. But I heard an audible voice come from behind me and say "You shoot Canon!" I turned around and it was a lady who looked about 10 years my junior. She had her camera around her neck, and when I saw it, my jaw almost hit the floor. Most of you will not know what any of this means, but she was toting a Canon 5D Mark III, and it had my DREAM lens attached...an 85mm 1.2L. She opened her bag and inside rested another gem, a 70-200mmm 2.8L IS. I made small talk, and after a bit, she said "My husband bought this stuff for me. I don't really know how to use it. I just play, and hope I get a good shot." I asked if she did a lot of shooting, and she said no, that usually it sits on a shelf. I wanted to scream at her...no lie. Instead, I muttered under my breath "If you want a camera to sit on a shelf, I'll trade you." As she walked away, however, I suddenly felt a gut-check of revolt in what I had just said. I had (in one thought) completely rejected the gift God had given me in my own camera, and was ready to toss it away. I closed my eyes, patted my camera bag, and thanked God for my daily wage. It's more than many people have. If we put this in the proper perspective, God gave her THAT camera, and God gave me MY camera. Yet, I was only focused on what SHE had.
You know, I am sadly aware that many men struggle with an addiction to pornography. The internet has made this an easy thing to access, and your cyber-footprints can be erased with a click of the mouse. Pornography is not my struggle however, and I would say "Thank the Lord." for that fact. In reality though, I am addicted to pornography. How? Well, I have a bevy of bookmarked websites devoted to camera gear, and most of it I will never be able to afford. The outfit the woman in the park had around her neck would cost at least $4000. While the young lady herself was pretty, (I remember that she was.) I had not the first desire to gaze upon her physical features. If I had, I would have been guilty of adultery in my heart. So why is gazing upon her camera any different? I may not have cheated on my wife, but I have told God "What you gave me is no longer pleasing. I want what SHE has."
I've done this in countless other areas too. I don't even need to talk about them all. However, it takes me back to a passage from Romans I have been clinging to for what seems like, oh months now.
"I don’t understand what I do. I don’t do what I want to do. Instead, I do what I hate to do. I do what I don’t want to do. So I agree that the law is good. As it is, I am no longer the one who does these things. It is sin living in me that does them. I know there is nothing good in my desires. I am controlled by sin. I want to do what is good, but I can’t. I don’t do the good things I want to do. I keep on doing the evil things I don’t want to do. I do what I don’t want to do. But I am not really the one who is doing it. It is sin living in me that does it. What a terrible failure I am! " ~ Romans 7: 15-20
If we go back to the parable of the landowner and workers, I am like one of the workers. Except, instead of complaining about the wage I have been given being the same as everyone else, I point to the vineyard across the road and say "That guy paid four times as much as you did! I saw it! You can take your money and stow it! I don't want it!"
Today, I want to reflect on what He HAS given me, not what He hasn't. To some, much has been given. To others, some has been given, and to many more, a smaller amount has been given. If we learn to see what we have been given as much, we will no longer care about the amount, only that we were trusted with it.
A thankful heart, is a HAPPY heart.
No comments:
Post a Comment